Taking Care of Business

Life Rule #17:

If you’re too busy to hang up your phone while you pee…you’re TOO busy.


Yes.  Sadly, I stood next to someone today that prompted this reminder.   The earnestness this gentleman exhibited towards taking care of business while “taking care of business” was on one level admirable–on another quite disturbing. 

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that some things are extremely important to discuss with others.  I also understand that mobile phones make it possible for us to conduct these discussions in almost any place imaginable.  It’s just that, in my research, I haven’t run across a phone that lists “Bodily Function Filter” (a much less common use of  the abbreviation”BFF”) on its Features list.  With this in mind, I’m not sure I can imagine a conversation that is important enough for the person on the other end to need to hear you talking over the musical stylings of your kidneys or lower intestines.  Or those of the other people sharing the bathroom with you.  You see, while it IS possible to control your own…ummm…well…volume, shall we say? …controlling that of the occupants of the stalls around you?  Not so easy.

Without going into detail, there have been numerous instances in a public restroom when the ambient sounds of the lavatory made me extremely thankful I wasn’t on a phone call.  It was at this point that I began to wonder exactly what kind of conversation would warrant taking this risk.

Medical emergency?  Absolutely.  

Phone interview? Negative.  

Call to your brother for entertainment purposes only?  Indeed.  

Checking your voicemail?  Sure.

Call to your wife to wish her a Happy Anniversary? For your sake, I hope not.

So after further consideration, I suppose that there ARE times when it’s acceptable to place a phone call from the bathroom.  But please realize, if you must make the call, please have excuses ready for the question of “What was THAT?!?” from the person on the other end. 

And no, claiming that you’re calling from a fog horn testing facility because the signal is strong is NOT a believable excuse. 

If that’s the best you can do, perhaps this is a good time to add text messages to your plan.